#Red Dwarf Holly | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spookybunnybabe · 2 months ago

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stars by the pocketful chapter one.

Summary: A week before her wedding, a girl puts herself and her best friend in stasis on a cruise ship after a drinking session. Upon waking up, she send out a distress signal which attracts the attention of an unlikely dysfunctional crew. With options limited (and a fleshy monster after them), they both find themselves part of the Red Dwarf. They don't know what they've missed out on but they know friendship, and an unlikely romance, are on the horzion.

Relationship: Arnold Rimmer/Original Female Character(s) Characters: Arnold Rimmer, Dave Lister, The Cat (Red Dwarf), Kryten (Red Dwarf), Holly (Red Dwarf), Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: Episode Related, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Attempt at Humor, Not Canon Compliant, Original Female Character, Slice of Life, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

authors note: listen,,, i'm partially writing this for fun (and therapy) so if it's bad, eh. I'm trying my best to match the vibe of the show but writing humor isn't my strong suit. I actually had a lot of fun writing this first chapter so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!!

link to ao3

When Madeline cracked her eyes open, she didn’t know what to expect. It felt as if last night had been a wild one by the looks of her best friend, Olive, sprawled across the floor. She didn't know how long they had been out but judging by their smudged makeup and the dust that had started to collect on her Doc Martins, it had been a very long time.

The voice of the ship's computer, a male one, voiced something about a stasis pod being open but honestly, Madeline felt so hungover that she didn’t even know if that was what the man’s voice was saying. She looked down at Olive and decided to kick her gently once, just to make sure she wasn’t dead.

“You dead there?”

Olive, who was still sprawled on the floor and had one boot missing, sat up and brushed out her blown out hair. “Dead? Nah, if we were dead, it would be much better. No hangover...but,” She looked towards the door, “It’s quiet outside. What’s going on? No Jazzercise robots...or drunk tourists singing karaoke.

Madeline pushed herself onto her feet before pushing at the massive doors. She tried to remember last night. She remembered that they were both currently on a space cruise. She remembered it was a week until she was getting married, and Olive was trying to bring her up to calling it off. It wasn’t as if she didn’t want to get married... it was just that she just...well, actually it was that. She didn’t want to get married.

“I don’t know what happened,” She looked down the hallway to see...chaos. Things were strown across the hallways. She raised her eyebrows. The once luxurious ship looked as if it had been hit by a space tornado if anything could be said about the half empty cocktail glasses rolling across the floor, a pair of tied shoes dangling from the ceiling and what looked suspiciously like an inflatable flamingo wedged into an out of commission service droid’s compartment.

“Hm. Olive?” Madeline picked up a cocktail glass, “Think we might have slept through something rather...big,”

Olive stepped out of the cupboard and then turned to Madeline, “What? Did we miss the karaoke finals?”

Madeline shot her a look for a second before shaking her head, “No, more like the end of the world,”

As they walked down the hallway, they reached the restaurant they would often have their meals in... whenever they were able to because Olive was vegan and sometimes the options were...atrocious. Olive looked inside and whistled, “Someone really went all out at the buffet,”

Madeline didn’t respond. Her brain was still trying to understand what was going on right now. If everyone was gone, how were they still alive? They fell asleep in the closet so...did someone come in and miss them? Were they protected by the closet walls? She sat down on a table that was covered in a white ashy type of dust.

“I... don’t understand. How are we still alive?”

Olive leaned against the table, picking up the half-eaten...what looked like a croissant, sniffing it curiously before quickly chucking it, “What if we were cryogenically preserved by some alien life form who thought we were space royalty and then left everything else to rot?”

Madeline just stared at her blankly, “But...why would they leave us?”

“Okay. Maybe they got bored. Or maybe someone had a good party and didn’t clean up. Look at the place,” Olive gestured around her, “The place is trashed,”

The ships voice came back to voice.

“Stasis pods. Release. Time elapsed...”

“Stasis pod?” Madeline looked around and then back at Olive, “Wait, I... Maybe that wasn’t a cupboard we fell asleep in...”

“Makes sense,” Olive said, giving the room one more look, “Was beginning to wonder why there were no coats in the cupboard,”

Madeline blinked, rubbing her temples as the ships voice droned on in the background, “So... let me get this straight...we’ve accidentally stasis’d ourselves,”

“Sounds like it,”

Madeline sighed, “Brilliant... just fucking brilliant,”

Olive didn’t say anything for moment, “Could be worse. You now don’t have to get married,”

Madeline groaned, slumping back in her chair, “I don’t know if ‘accidently cryogenically preserved’ is going to be a valid excuse for missing the wedding,”

Olive smirked, “Oh, I don’t know. ‘Sorry, honey. I’ve been in stasis for who knows how long and might have missed a few centuries’”

Before Madeline could respond, a loud buzzing came from the far end of the room and a monitor flickered to life as the two women jumped up onto their feet as the ships AI – an overly cheerful host in a tuxedo began playing.

“Welcome back, passengers of the SS StarGuzzler. I’m delighted to inform you that you have been in stasis for...” The Ai began to glitch out and then suddenly resumed, “Stasis time is unavailable. But fear not as most systems are, mostly operational. Please enjoy the rest of your cruise,”

The girls exchanged looks.

“Mostly operational?” Olive echoed, “I don’t know how I feel about that,”

That was when the ship’s AI continued to glitch, “Rest assured, there is no immediate danger at the current moment except for, minor small low-grade chance of radiation exposure. Please enjoy the rest of your stay,”

“Radiation exposure?!” Madeline muttered, beginning to rub her temples, “Well, isn’t that just the cherry on top,”

Olive shrugged, “At least we don’t have screaming children in the pool,”

“True,” Madeline sighed, approaching the panel that the AI was on, trying to tap it to see if it could give them any information but the AI head just kept glitching, “We need to figure out how long we’ve been asleep,”

Olive went over to Madeline and tapped the panel, “Come on, it can’t have been more than a few days, tops,”

Madeline shook her head, “Olive, this place looks like a complete disaster. It’s definitely been longer than a few days,”

Before Olive could even say something, a loud abrupt thud echoed through the ship which threw them off to the side slightly. The AI flicked once more.

“Don’t worry about it. Just a minor...hull...But don’t panic! If anything happens, we have plenty of escape pods...I think”

Madeline groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose, “Brilliant. Now, we’re not only lost, but potentially floating in a giant radioactive tin can. Olive, if we don’t die of radiation poisoning...”

“Don’t panic,” She was trying to be the optimistic one in a very bleak situation, “We don’t know how long we’ve been out for. We could be out for a few days. Maybe someone is coming to find us,”

“Or, we’re two idiots that fell asleep in the stasis pod because we got drunk crying about me getting married,” It was at that moment that Madeline hit the panel for not being helpful.

“Come on Maddie. We’ve survived hangovers and questionable vegan space buffets. We can survive this,” Olive said.

A loud sudden beep from the control panel startled them both. Madeline froze for a second, staring at the screen as it quickly flashed SEND DISTRESS SIGNAL.

“Holy shit. Let’s send out a distress signal,” Olive said clicking it.

“We don’t know what’s out there,” Madeline said, “We could reach contact with space pirates or cannibals,”

“Space pirates? Really Maddie?”

Madeline crossed her arms, “Look, I used to go to the cruises movie nights, and they used to play Attack of the Shirtless Stripper Space Cannibals, and they very much exist,”

Olive rolled her eyes, “You’re probably a bit too touch and gristly for space cannibals, what with all the sarcasm and existential dread hardening you up,”

Madeline glared, “Great. Thanks Olive,”

With that said, Olive pressed the record button to record the signal, “This is Olive Smith and Madeline McDonald of SS Starguzzler. We appear to have accidentally put ourselves into stasis and have avoided an attack. There is a radiation leak so it would be nice if someone could pick us up...thank you!”

And that was it sent out.

Madeline couldn’t argue with that. She sits down at one of the tables, “Well, it’s out there now. Fingers crossed it’s not space cannibals,”

Olive grinned and joined her, “Relax, Maddie. We could get rescued by some big hunky space pilot,”

Madeline rolled her eyes, “Or cannibals. How are you so calm about this?”

“I’m not calm. I’m just hungover enough not to care,” She tapped her fingers against the table top, “Besides, isn’t this a little freeing? No wedding, no responsibilities... just you and me in space,”

The monitor flickered again, the AIs distorted voice chimed in once more, “Distress signal sent. Response time is...indefinite. Thank you for your patience and enjoy the rest of your cruise.”

Madeline stared at the screen, “Indefinite. Cool. So, we’re stuck here until someone answers,”

“Or ten minutes. You don't know. Life is full of surprises,”

Just as the words left her mouth, another loud thud reverberated through the ship and knocked both off their chairs. The lights flickered, and for a moment, the ship’s AI seemed to glitch out again before cutting a low hum.

“What was that?” Madeline tried to pull herself up as the ship began to rattle, “That...That wasn’t my imagination,”

Olive stood up, holding her arms up to keep her balance, “Uh, no. Definitely heard that. And unless the yoga instructor droids have finally woken up, we might have company,”

There was another crash that threw the ladies against the floor again, but they tried to get up by holding onto the wall.

“I think most definitely,”

There was the sound of something being forcefully opened from above them. Madeline pushed herself up as she grabbed onto the panel for some support.

“The distress signal worked. Too bad it’s attracted like...something that one’s to kill us,”

“You don’t know that Maddy!!! Maybe he’s the hunk we want but maybe he’s...shy,”

“Shy?!?” Madeline stared at Olive for two seconds.

“Yeah, shy! You know, like those tall brooding types from my favorite novels,”

“Focus!” The ship threw them both against the wall again. There was a grinding noise from above that sounded very much like a door being removed.

Madeline ducked, “I hope that’s the hunky pilot and not-”

The ceiling vent exploded downward in a cloud of debris, and a figure, clad in a patchwork of mismatched armor dropped through the hole landing with an audible thud. The figure’s eyes immediately fell on the girls, and it could only be described as not human and more... fleshy.

“...”Madeline didn’t know what to say as she started shuffling backwards. She instinctively started shuffling backwards to try and get away. The creature tilted its head, emitting a low, guttural growl that sounded like a little too close to something that was ready to kill both of them.

“That’s not a space hunk,” Olive whispered.

“I am aware,”

The creature snarled again then started advancing slowly towards them, it’s body jerky with each movement it made.

“Right... then, what’s the plan?” Olive muttered, clearly not in the mood to take charge in this situation. Madeline didn’t respond at once. Her eyes kept looking around the room for something that could be used as a weapon. This was the same as Olive as she turned and saw a croissant on the ground. She picked it up and threw it at the creature to which Maddie shot her a look.

“Really?”

“Do you have any better ideas?”

The creature looked at the two women before looking at the ground at the rather sad looking croissant. There was a beat of silence...then it roared.

“Maddie. I think that was a mistake...”

“What makes you say that?” But there was no time for sarcasm before she grabbed Olive’s hand, “We need to run. NOW,”

“Attention. Attention. There has been a distress call received from a cruise ship nearby.”

Holly’s voice spoke through the ship. To which brought the crew’s attention to the cockpit to listen to the message. It had been a rather slow month on the Red Dwarf, which was either a good thing or not. This, the distress call, was the first time in a while they had even contacted something in a while.

“Great, we have...what, a month of nothing interesting happening and now suspicious cruise ship just happens to be floating innocently across space,” Rimmer, who was ever the optimist was trying to convince the others to ignore the distress call. Afterall, everything had been relatively calm recently.

However, Lister heard cruise ship, and his mind went to one thing, “I don’t know Rimmer. I wonder if they have any Margaretta mixes on board. We are starting the run low,”

Rimmer rolled his eyes, “Holly. Do you know if this distress call is even genuine?”

Holly nodded her head, “The distress call is genuine. They appear to have recorded it on an internal panel. I’ll play it now.

As Holly played the distress call, the grainy footage of the two unknown women played on the screen.

“This is Olive Smith and Madeline McDonald of SS Starguzzler. We appear to have accidentally put ourselves into stasis and have avoided an attack. There is a radiation leak so it would be nice if someone could pick us up...thank you!”

“Wait... Wait,” Cat, who hadn’t cared previously, seemed to somehow perk up, “There’s two women on board and we aren’t immediately running to their help?”

Lister scratched his chin thoughtfully, “Well, I reckon we should go and help them. Can’t leave two people just stranded with radiation leaks,”

“Great idea, Listy,” And naturally, Rimmer had his objections to the rescue mission, “Let’s go waltzing into an irradiated death trap because two women who, may I remind you, accidently put themselves into stasis,”

“Accidently,” Kryten interjected, “Which is quite impressive, sir. I would love to personally meet them. It takes a special kind of lack of foresight to do that,”

Cat, who was already flicking his hair back, “The ship could be falling apart for all I care. There’s two women on the ship. Two of them,”

And Lister clearly wasn’t listening to Rimmer’s objections as per usual because he was strapping his boots on, “Holly, what’s the chance of the cruise ship irradiating us?”

“Anywhere between 30% to.... 90%?”

“Wow. That precise,” Rimmer, who clearly still wasn’t convinced, didn’t move an inch to jump into battle.

“Quit your whining,” Lister said with a grin, “Think of it like...an adventure. There might even be vindaloo mix or two on board. The radiation might just give it a little extra kick,”

As Rimmer was about to protest further, Kryten stepped in with his usual logic, “Sir. If we don’t aid, those women may suffer from irreversible damage due to the radiation. As a noble and caring crew, I suggest we act with swift valor and precision,”

“Yeah. Valor and precision,” Lister through his arm into the air in a fist pump motion, “Valor and precision,”

“You think this will hold it off,”

Olive and Madeline placed a heavy jukebox in front of the door. Now they couldn’t see past the door as they were locked in what seemed to be a cockpit. The ship had been functioning using the barely functioning AI system and autopilot. Which...makes it surprising how they were still floating then. Madeline tried to jump to see over the chairs but unfortunately, they were both under 5ft3 and couldn’t see anything.

“No. However, maybe they will get distracted at all the croissants you insisted on throwing at it,” Madeline said as she tried to frantically look at the panel to see if there was ANYTHING that could help.

“It was the only thing I could think of!” Equally frantic, she was adding more and more chairs so they could build up a good barricade. She even tried to wedge a tiny coffee table into it while Madeline was tearing her hair out at the buttons.

“I don’t know how to save us. I was a nurse at home, not a damn pilot,” she said, feeling incredibly frustrated by the upcoming doom. It was then, the AI’s head appeared on the screen.

“Hello ma’am. There are communications from the SS Jupiter Mining ship Red Dwarf. Would you like to open the communication comms?”

Communications? Finally!

“Yes! Patch them through...”

When the monitor lit up, she was faced by... a bizarre group of people. A human who looked...sloppy. A hologram, a cleaning droid and a sharply dressed...human? Either way, beggars couldn’t be choosers.

“Hey! You must be the ladies from the distress call!” said the sloppy one who was more lounging than anything.

Madeline frantically pressed buttons to get herself through, “Hello! This is Madeline McDonald. We are in desperate need of help,”

Olive waved frantically in the background, “Yes! We’ve got a bit of a situation in here. There's this...fleshy thing trying to break in and I think it wants to eat us?”

“Wait, no. Nobody mentioned big fleshy thing!” The hologram spoke up in the background. “No. This is why we should have stayed put. I’ve had quite enough of-”

The cleaning droid cleared his throat politely, “If I may interject, Miss McDonald and Miss Smith, could you describe the fleshy thing in greater detail, so we know what we are talking about,”

Madeline threw a look towards the door, which kept rattling from the sheer weight of the creature, “Uh...big and humanoid. But...not at the same time. It has...flesh but it looks like it’s peeling off and it’s...really pissed off,”

Olive nodded, “Oh! And it sticks! Like really bad,”

The human who had addressed them first nodded, “Fleshy and angry...sounds like an ex of mine,”

Madeline blinked, “Excuse me?”

He waved her off, “Nothing. Just my luck with women. Alright. We’ll be down there to get you both out. It will take some time. Just what’s the situation? It’s not like, in the room with you?”

Olive laughed nervously from the background, “Not yet but it’s trying... we’ve blocked the door with everything. Tables, chairs, inflatable flamingos...”

“Well, isn’t this fantastic,” The hologram spoke again, “We’re seriously rescuing too women who have barricaded themselves with children’s pool toys,”

The droid spoke again, “Miss McDonald, Miss Smith, is there an air vent that either of you could travel through to get to another part of the ship? There may still be operational systems in other parts of the vessel?”

“That’s...not a terrible ideal?” Madeline looked behind her to Olive and gestured to the vent that was at the side and buried under all the debris. “Thoughts?”

Olive gave her the thumbs up, “I’m game. It beats being eaten alive,”

Madeline turns back, “Okay. We’re going to try and get out of here. Meanwhile, it would be great if we could be picked up somewhere convenient,”

“Yup. We’re already plotting a course to land. If you know where the landing deck is, head to there but if not... we’ll meet you there,”

Madeline signed off and turned to Olive before looking at the vent. “Alright, we better start moving then,”

“Hols, set a course for us to land on the docking bay of the cruise ship,” Lister leaned back as everyone was ready to investigate this ship. Holly immediately got to work with plotting a course. Cat had disappeared entirely, something about needing to put on the most dazzling suit to impress the ladies on board. Rimmer was...well, brooding.

“Come on Rimmer,” Lister knocked his shoulder, “They seemed like nice girls. We can’t just leave them there,”

But nothing could get rid of the scowl on his face, “Nice girls or not, it’s a giant irradiated party ship with a fleshy…thing. I don’t see why we must be the ones who save them. Can’t we just leave a polite note and wish them the best of luck?”

Lister chuckled, leaning back on his chair, “Where’s your sense of adventure? You never know. One of them might take a fancy to you and you’ll finally get a girlfriend,”

Rimmer shot him a look, “Sorry. I don’t think a girl who accidently puts herself in stasis would be my type,”

Lister grinned, leaning in closer, “Oh come on. You cannot be picky at this point. If you wait for perfection, you’ll be waiting another lifetime...or in your case, holographic lifetimes,”

Rimmer stood up, pacing a little to the side crossing his arms, “Look, all I’m saying is that our survival shouldn’t hinge on two women who think inflatable flamingos are a legitimate defense strategy!”

And Cat returned, dawning an incredibly bright sequin suit with all the accessories while he was combing his hair, “None of you will have a chance with these ladies not after they see this,” He gestured dramatically to his glittering suit, “I mean, they are going to be fawning over me so badly just by looking at me,”

Lister chuckled, shaking his head, “Oh yeah mate, because nothing says ‘rescue party’ like a disco ball in a suit. You are going to blind the monster before it even gets close,”

Cat was now too busy combing his hair in the panel that he waved Lister off, “It’s called Strategy, Lister. I’m going to be so dazzling that they will forget all about their fleshy problem,”

Rimmer groaned, rubbing his temples. “I think it is us that will have the fleshy problem. We might as well just have signs next to us saying...fleshy thing food,”

“I’m sure Miss McDonald and Miss Smith would be more...appreciative of a more organized approach,” Kryten chimed in.

“Organized?” Lister responded, “Come on, Kryten, where’s the fun in that?”

“I do believe our best chance of survival would involve avoiding any unnecessary confrontation with the creature, perhaps something...subtle?”

“Subtle,” Rimmer spoke in disbelief, “With him glowing like a Christmas tree?”

Lister stood up, “Relax, Rimmer. We’ll be fine. We’ve dealt with worse – like that time you got us into a mess with those psychotic GELFs?”

Rimmer glared, “This is madness. Why can’t we leave the flamingo women to their fate?”

“Sir if I may,” Kryten said, “It’s our moral duty. After all, they didn’t choose to be trapped in stasis with a deadly creature and I would be remiss if I didn’t remind you that we are their only hope,”

“Exactly, Rimmer,” Lister spoke up, “We’re their only hope...or something like that?”

Just as Rimmer was about to speak up, Holly’s head popped up on the screen, “Alright. Docking procedure is complete. Just...try not to get yourself killed,”

On the other side of the ship, a vent came off the wall after Madeline kept bashing into it and they crawled out. They ended up in the restaurant that they had originally been to before. Madeline and Olive climbed out and brushed their outfits off.

“Now what?” Olive asked.

Madeline looked around, “I guess we have to find the docking bay from here. Let’s keep going and try not to attract attention to ourselves,”

The overturned tables and scattered debris from their earlier chaos only made the silence more unsettling. Madeline began to move quickly and quietly as Olive moved to keep up, “Let’s hope our fleshy friend isn’t in the mood for more,”

They started moving quietly through the restaurant. The fluorescent lights overhead flickered occasionally which added to their unease.

Suddenly, Madeline’s skin began to crawl.

“Hold on,”

Olive stopped walking, “What?”

Madeline said nothing. She narrowed her eyes and looked around, “Do you hear that...? The ship settling...”

Olive snorted, “Yeah right, since when do ships settle?”

Madeline shuddered as her unease grew, “I’m serious. Something is really off,” The faint echo of shuffling reached their ears.

Olive’s sarcasm faded as she strained to listen. The low, unsettling noise was moving. And it was getting louder and louder.

Madeline motioned for them to move quietly again, sticking close to the wall as they crept towards the next exit. They fucked behind a fallen table as the sound grew closer. Madeline peaked around the corner and... Well, there it was. Its skin, or what was left of it, glistened grotesquely under the lights and its uneven breaths filled the air.

Madeline pulled back, “It’s here. We need to leave now,”

Olive gave her a nod and together, they began to crawl towards the nearest exit, keeping as low and as quiet as possible. The creature was still shuffling behind them, but it hadn’t notice yet. That was until Olive accidentally knocked on a tray, sending it clattering loudly to the ground.

The women looked at each other.

“Sorry...” Olive’s voice barely came out.

The creature let out a deafening roar and it snapped it’s head around towards them. Without thinking about it, Madeline grabbed Olive’s arm and yanked her, “RUN!” which spurred them both into action. They bolted from behind the table and began sprinting through the wreckage of the restaurant as the creature’s roar echoed from behind them as its heavy feet thudded behind them.

“Why is it always me!” Olive cried out between breaths. The creature was moving faster than before as it’s grotesque farm barreled towards them with terrifying speed.

“Just keep running!!”

As they rounded the corner, Madeline’s eyes saw a sign that said Docking Bay: 50 meters. Madeline’s heart leapt at the sight of the sign. They were almost there. This was enough to make both of them push themselves harder as the adrenaline kicked in. The creature’s growl grew louder, they could practically feel it’s hot breath behind them.

The door to the docking bay came into view, and Madeline stretched her arm out and slammed her hand against the panel.

“Move!” She yelled, yanking Olive inside as the door opened. Once inside, she slammed her door against the panel which made the door slam shut. The creature pounded against the door, trying to force its way through.

It was just then, they turned around to see that the ship was docking. The door that the creature was banging on wasn’t going to keep up forever.

“Hey!” Olive raised her arms, “We’re here!”

“Hey! Look, it’s our ladies!”

Cat had been eagerly looking at the panel as the shuttle was about to land. Thankfully, all it needed was for the ladies to get onto the ship and they could disappear. It was a piece of cake...right.

“Alright alright, relax,” Lister raised his arms, “Let’s go down and collect them. Then we’ll be off,”

Cat adjusted his already immaculate outfit, flashing a grin at his reflection in the panel. “I’m telling you, as soon as they see me, they’ll be begging to leave that nightmare ship,”

Kryten, grabbing a box, “Oh I am quite excited to meet these ladies. I’ve got the first aid kit just in case,”

As the crew went downstairs, shuttle door hissed open, and the ladies ran into the docking bay platform. Despite the fact that the ladies looked haggard, Lister waved at them casually, “You two alright? Ready to get the smeg out of here?”

Before the ladies could even answer, Cat pushed himself to the front of the queue, “Don’t worry ladies. You’re safe with me! Nothing can touch us while I’m on the scene.”

“Not now Cat!” Rimmer yelled, as he noticed the fleshy thing was tearing the door apart, “Kryten, close the door now before we become lunch!”

Without another word, Kryten sealed the shuttle door. The loud crash of the creature breaking through the docking bay which made everyone freeze for a second as Lister punched the thrusters, sending them soaring away from the ship and the creature within.

For now, they were safe.

As the shuttle blasted away from the cruise ship, Madeline collapsed into one of the seats with her hand pressed against her forehead, “That was way too close,”

Olive too slumped in a seat letting out a dry laugh, “If we ever suggest a cruise again, slap me,”

Lister grinned from the pilots seat, “Don’t worry. We’re stick to something less fleshy next time...”

Madeline was quiet for a moment while she caught her breath before looking over, “Uh...thank you for saving us. I’m Madeline...and that’s Olive. We’re uh... best friends,”

“Attached at the hip,” Olive continued, “You’ll never find one without the other,”

“Madeline and Olive eh?” Lister said, “Well, I’m Lister. And this dysfunctional lot is the rest of the crew,”

Cat chimed in, excitedly, “You’ve probably noticed that I am the best dressed on here. Don’t worry ladies. You’ll be safe now that I’m on the scene,”

“That’s Cat. He’s like, you know how human’s desended from Apes. Well, he desended from Cat’s,”

“Oh!” Olive clasped her hands together, “I do love Cats!”

“Meow!” And Olive’s admission of how much she loves Cats sent Cat into a tangent that was interrupted by Kryten.

“And I’m Kryten. Your humble service droid. If there’s anything you need while you remain here, medical or otherwise, I’m at your disposal,��

Rimmer, who looked frazzled gave a half wave, “Arnold Rimmer. Hologram, former officer and apparently the only one here wondering why we’ve let two random women suddenly on the ship,”

“Oh Rimmer. Don’t make the ladies feel unwelcome. They’ve been through a lot,” Lister said, barely turning to look at him.

“There has to be someone with some sense around here,” Rimmer responded.

Ignoring that, Madeline looked at Rimmer curiously, “So... wait, you’re a hologram. Does that mean your...”

Clearly not thrilled by the line of questioning, Rimmer glared at her, “Dead. Yes. Thanks for reminding me,”

“Oh...” Madeline didn’t know quite what to say, “I’m...sorry?”

Olive, always one to lighten the mood, “At least you can’t get eaten by fleshy monsters them,”

Rimmer gave her a sour look, “Small comforts,”

“Well, I don’t know about you...” Cat began, “But I would have dazzled that monster so much it wouldn’t have came near us,”

“Yes sir,” Kryten gave an exaggerated nod of agreement, “Your impeccable fashion sense would have done the trick,”

Madeline could immediately catch onto the dynamic of the crew. She couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. Being chased by a monster and now, sitting among an eccentric crew...it was almost comforting.

“Clearly, we are all in good hands,”

“Of course,” Cat replied with a flashy smile, “I mean, just look at me! The monster wouldn’t have stood a chance,”

Olive nudged Madeline, “See? We were saved by a fashion statement,”

Madeline shook her head, feeling herself begin to ease up as if they hadn’t just been running for their lives, “I... guess that’s one way to doing it,”

Cat was quite pleased with himself. He leaned back in his chair, “Trust me, ladies. Style is just as important as survival. A well-dressed man never runs out of luck,”

“Yeah well, luck or not, we’re glad you survived,” Lister said, “Welcome to Red Dwarf. The only thing crazier than the ship is the crew,”

Rimmer scoffed, “Speak for yourself, Listy. Some of us try to maintain order around here. Not that anyone listens,”

Kryten nodded, “You see Miss McDonald and Miss Smith, it’s a rather...unconventional way to approach survival but I assure you, we have our way of surviving chaos,”

Olive smiled, “Maddie. I think we will fit in, don’t you?”

Madeline looked at the rest of them and a small smile reached her lips. “Yeah, I suppose this will work,”

And it was then Lister gave them the thumbs up, “Fantastic. You both have the right attitude. Sit tight and relax. We’ll be back on Red Dwarf soon.

And that was that. The tension finally eased, and Madeline leaned back in her seat, looking at Olive, who flashed her a playful grin. There was still so much to find out. What happened to them and what happened to everyone else? All Madeline knew was that if they wanted answers, they would need to stick with this crew.

To a new adventure.

#red dwarf #arnold j rimmer #dave lister #kryten #the cat red dwarf #red dwarf fanfiction #red dwarf holly

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